2022.01.28 00:03 Borox I (27M) was confronted about my feelings by my current partner (26F), but am hung up on a "friend" (24F)
I suspect that you will all deem me a blithering fool, but the act of writing this out is part of the journey to reconciling my own emotions. Making sense of how I've wiggled my way in between two women with a decision to make.
Its probably not so rare a tale, Blondie (24F) walked into my life early June of 2020 and from day one I was enthralled. Shes kind, gorgeous, and had a laissez-faire attitude. I lived with 2 other guys my age close to our local bars and she would largely come and go as she pleased. We were all twenty year olds with time to kill.
We all drink together to pass the time, but Blondie is a pretty small girl and has an uncanny ability to get drunk enough to not remember a thing without putting a hair out of place. The number of conversations lost to the visceral drunk where we made quite confessions to one another were countless. Months went by and I kept pulling trying to get her more routinely into my life, but every time she got close, she would recoil and admit she was afraid. I've recently learned the term 'limerence' and it explains my emotions around her all too well. Still, its not blind hedonism when I say that the emotional connection the two of us have is genuinely incomparable to anything I've experienced before. I wont belabor the point though. Eventually, in November she texted me saying "its best if we don't see each other anymore". We spoke in person, and I gave her a letter expressing how much she had taught me and how I valued our relationship. She continued to engage me through December, but early January she called me and told me that an old flame had reached out to her in some grand gesture and she was going to pursue it. We'd talked a bit about him before. They had been engaged, but an unexpected pregnancy put a spike between them; she didn't keep it.
Its been a year since then. She is still dating the old flame, but I am still enthralled with her. We share the same group of friends so we seeing each other is almost unavoidable. I am hesitant to admit, but the tale would be half of what it is without it, that there have been nights this passed year that she has found her way to my bed. There have been nights that we have stayed up late talking about everything from our relationship to the simple content of our weeks. Some how never coming to a conclusion. These encounters always come in waves, we are close for a month and then one of us pulls back, as if we suddenly noticed the reality of the situation; like it jumped out at us from just out of sight. Willfull ignorance.
Girl number two is Brunette (26F). A mature, independent, "hippie" soulful, highly functional pot head. Shes got a charming foreign beauty to her. We met months ago, back in July, and unbeknownst to me, she was instantly attracted. Over the next month and a half she would work her way into familiarity and after a birthday party, I into her bed. Through September and October we maintained a very casual relationship of occasional sex. I was still enamored with Blondie but with no reason to believe her relationship would ever end, entertained my own. I went to a music festival with her at the end of October and in that adventure I committed more of myself to her. I admitted I admired her we set out to spend more time together. Through November and December we did just that. We went on dates and stayed at each others places, but joked occasionally about not making to many plans together. New years hits and she, in an act of vulnerability, tells me she likes me a lot. I didn't have much to say, but I appreciated the act and assured her she wasn't crazy.
It scared me. I recoiled from her emotionally without being mature enough to speak of my fears or challenges. Blondie was closer to me than ever. I didn't have anything to hide from her and I talked openly about my relationship with Brunette.
Which brings us to our climax. Last night Brunette asked me where we stand. She was vulnerable, she admitted she cared for me deeply, more than she had for anyone in quite some time. She said she needed to hear how I felt so that she was not acting foolishly; throwing her emotions at the feet of ambivalence. She said she wanted to travel and spend more time with me and that she wanted me to want it to. It all resonated with me. Reminded me, excruciatingly, of how I longed for Blondie before she chose someone else. It was incredibly hard for me. I had avoided talking with her about my 'challenges' with Blondie in fear of how she would react. Ultimately I broke and admitted how hard it was being friends with Blondie. She said its been hard being around my "what if" and that she deserved better than being compared to her. She left tearful and I cried. Prisoner to my sins.
So now I am faced with the consequence of my actions and I need help choosing the right path.
Blondie and I have played this will they wont they game for so long now; but she seems closer than ever right now. She has therapy scheduled, her lease is ending in May, shes speaking seriously of leaving her boyfriend. Though I know the easy point to make, once a cheater and all that... only the sith deal in absolutes and I believe people can change; especially for the right person. It almost feels like it would be a betrayal to start dating Brunette after all the hopes I have poured into Blondie.
Yet, loosing Brunette for nothing would be a tragedy. Shes a wonderful person and I would love to spend more time with her. Give her a chance. Learn more about her and figure out if we are compatibly beyond the "hanging out" trope that Ive pinned our relationship to... so what do I do?
Thank you for reading.
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2022.01.28 00:03 younguncie Yankees fan coming in peace. One thing I think we can all agree on…THESE ARE NOT SIMILAR!!! Can’t wait for April!
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2022.01.28 00:03 gagan_aujla I'm sure this has been said and repeated in this Sub-Reddit, but my theory behind why Rue narrates the series is because she's eventually going to die by the series finale. Any additional thoughts on this?
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2022.01.28 00:03 DogeMotion The harder we are attacked, the closer we are to making off with the riches. These next few weeks will really show some thought bears trying to get others to sell. They don’t want you gaining wealth. Trust Dans plan. He’s had it all along. LETS RIDE!!!!
2022.01.28 00:03 pandoracam Interesting reactions to the new RC retarded shitposting
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2022.01.28 00:03 shaman369 Live in the now or forever miss it. Don’t let technology come between you and the natural human connection you have with your loved ones. Phones are an illusion to rob you from the now ...
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2022.01.28 00:03 Someweirdo237 New Starter Pack Comming Soon - Sothis: Girl on the Throne
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2022.01.28 00:03 brandyandcoffee I made that viral tiktok tomato goat cheese pasta thing for myself tonight, cut the full recipe in half and used a little log of cranberry goat cheese instead of half a brick of feta cheese, and I omitted the basil as I used black truffle olive oil and wanted to taste it. It cost me $12 to make it
2022.01.28 00:03 js12295 26 [M4F] let’s talk!
2022.01.28 00:03 ReferenceIcy7716 de todo y no expira
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2022.01.28 00:03 jcfcampos i wish cockroachs never existed
2022.01.28 00:03 SexyPeter (Fanfiction) Kengan Omukade Ch. 1 - Sixty Years
Hi all, given the current turmoil in the subreddit regarding Omega's writing, I figured I'd try to inspire a little positivity by doing some writing! I haven't properly brushed this up yet, and I've never done fanfic before, but if there's an interest I'd be happy to continue. I have a vague plot in mind.
As a disclaimer, Kengan is entirely the property of Sandro and Daro; I claim no ownership of the setting or characters, and do not intend to profit from this. This is purely for my own benefit, and the enjoyment of everyone!
‘Japan’s Reluctant Savant’, Keiji Kitao
Much to the chagrin of its former members, it was a lack of bloodshed that killed Kengan, and not an excess. Nobody had expected it. Of course, after the fact, everyone would go on to say how they totally had done, and that things were ‘entirely within their calculations’. Like most CEOs, they seemed fundamentally predisposed to lying.
He, however, had been there throughout the fall; he had seen the way the matches were sanitized, toned down to the level of public martial arts. He had seen how laws of competition and anti-monopoly stifled the interest of the Kengan members. He had seen how the quality of fighters dwindled as seekers left to pursue their own strength, public fighters returned to their home turf, and the vast remainder left for money, safety, anything better than what Kengan’s upturned empire could offer.
And he had been there when Dainippon bank fell; seen its then CEO, Katahara Retsudo, disgraced and censored for his centrality to the entire affair.
Kengan was not killed. Not as such. It had just slowly been starved of air.
In the sixty years since a tournament had last been held, he had gone from a boy to a young man, and from a man to someone with what looked like only a few years left in him. He needed a chair to walk, his back was a constant knot of agony, and a cabinet of medication ensured he didn’t die a faster death from the numerous complications old age brought.
But still, that fire remained in him.
That fire he had harnessed over sixty painstaking years.
That fire which a lifetime of business, backstabbing, politics, and lies cultivated. All of it for this one moment. He, the Upstart, would bring about a reckoning.
At long last, sixty years after its fall, the remnants of the Kengan Association were beginning to piece together. And he was determined to reign atop the rubble. At least before it became a kingdom once more.
By necessity, fights were even quieter of an event than they used to be. Invitations were now handed out on the day, with venues often constructed and dismantled within hours by a select committee of trusted members. To avoid leaks, locations were constantly rotated, and most members and fighters were blindfolded to be driven there.
Maintaining a waterproof inner-circle was difficult, but it had ultimately been decided on the basis of new-blood versus old-blood, with veterans of the former Kengan Association taking the lead, albeit with a much more cautious hand. Naturally, he took his seat on the executive team. Though some goodwill had been lost, given the Kengan Association’s unceremonious collapse, it was this very collapse that had ironically encouraged the older factions to band together. For the sake of the many.
Public fighters were temporarily off-limits, primarily to avoid commotions and keep fighters unknown. Though killing was allowed once more, there was an outright ban on all contact outside of fights themselves. Atop this, a veritable slew of NDAs, blackmail, and bribes kept things within the KA. Thus, the rickety ship remained afloat.
This new system was not perfect. In fact, it had its problems.
Fighters had to be on-call at any moment, given the immediacy of match arrangements, and so maintained more demanding training schedules. This added pressure, atop the fundamental risk of the renewed death matches, had attracted a new stock of combatants: seekers, crazies, and those without care for their own wellbeing were commonplace.
Much like their CEOs, it was a bloodthirsty lot.
The money had also diminished. The KA, though reborn, did not have its former sway. Instead, promises and future equity were more common as motivators; the intention was to build Kengan back up to its former glory. And people wanted a preemptive piece of the pie, even though it wasn’t in the oven yet. Was it aspirational or stupid? Honestly, he could not tell.
The Upstart cast his gaze to the match currently ongoing; an unnaturally tall and spindly man, with unkempt hair and a cruel expression, was currently keeping his opponent at bay with his larger reach.
That would be Flint Gustav, ‘The Crooked Man’. Standing at seven foot five, he was a behemoth. What he lacked in pure muscle mass, he made up for in range, flexibility, and a striking willingness to fight dirty. This was in contrast to his opponent who, by all accounts, was a veritable saint - Kariuki Gathoni, a middle-aged man, a practitioner of Laamb wrestling, and a father of three young girls, if the rumors were to be believed. Epithet unknown to the Upstart.
Despite his superior musculature, and combat experience, Kariuki was on the back foot. Each strike Flint threw was a potential lifetime in hospital. Focused on Kariuki’s center line, he relentlessly went for vitals.
A blow to the nose, though blocked, quickly chained into a groin-kick, which Kariuki was able to narrowly divert by shifting back.
His back slamming into the edge of the arena, Flint’s fist embedded itself in concrete as Kariuki dodged, attempting to grapple Flint’s waist from the side.
In response, his opponent’s body twisted unnaturally. His entire torso snapped to face Kariuki as he kicked at the wrestler’s knee, propelled by a momentum that should have been impossibile.
Buckling at the heavy blow, Kariuki had little time to react as Flint’s knee impacted against his nose. Something cracked, and Flint didn’t let up. He wrapped his large hands around Kariuki’s neck, nails digging in as he tried choking him. Something about his grip set warning alarms off in the audience’s eyes that this was Flint going for a kill.
After all, it wasn’t strictly prohibited.
Undeterred by the pain, Kariuki lowered his center of gravity, hiking up his arms around the back of Flint’s legs, and power-bombing him into the floor.
Or, that’s how he thought it went.
Flint read ahead.
He gripped to Kariuki, his thin body ensnaring him like a snake and shifting Kariuki’s fall mid-air so that both of them took the power-bomb shoulder-first.
Flint hissed, circling over the kneeling wrestler before detaching himself. He raked his nails down the man’s back, leaving weeping scratch-marks as the fight resumed to a neutral position.
The two men stared at each-other wordlessly. It was clear that Flint felt in his element; blood on his fingers, his entire body stretched and bent like a phantasm more than a human.
He licked his lips.
Flint snapped forward, his fingers extended in an eye-poke. Ducking under the blow, his opponent feigned a strike before transitioning into a tackle, Kariuki’s arms wrapping around Flint’s left leg.
Flint couldn’t muster a response as he was forced to the ground and mounted. Reeling from the impact, his opponent clocked him in the cheek a couple of times before Flint managed to throw up a guard.
It was clear, however, that Flint was no grappler.
His guard was quickly crushed, and his right arm seized by Kariuki. Flint attempted to free it, but no blows from his offhand seemed to faze the wrestler, nor could he free himself from the man’s vice-like grip.
“Surrender,” Kariuki demanded, his voice level.
“Rather fuckin’ kill myself.”
Kariuki stared at him blankly, before letting out a slow sigh. “Have it your way. I apologize.”
In a single motion, Flint’s arm folded in on itself. A sickening crack resounded throughout the arena - unmistakably, something being dislocated. Flint’s screams of agony quickly followed.
“You cunt! I’ll kill you - I’ll kill you, I’LL—”
Kariuki let go of the arm, which he had cleanly detached at the elbow. He punched Flint. Once. Twice. Three times. The blows were heavy, their impact overshadowing the whispers of onlookers.
A fourth blow was not needed. The tall man’s face now deep into the floor, he remained motionless.
As if he had no injuries at all, Kariuki rose, holding up Flint with him. The audience watched as they idly wondered what the stoic fighter would do next. Though, at this point, many had lost interest.
To this point, Kariuki’s face had betrayed no expression, not even pain, during his fight.
Kariuki did not hurt Flint. He hoisted the unconscious man over his shoulder, potato-sack style. Flint’s long arms scraped against the floor as Kariuki set him down on the sidelines. He took Flint’s arm and snapped it back into place, just as cleanly as he had broken it.
“It was a good fight.” The man finally spoke. He turned to the audience, met eyes with the Upstart, and offered a curt nod before leaving. A sign of recognition.
After all, though aged, the Upstart’s features must have been immediately recognisable to any Kengan veteran. Even now, he drew hushed whispers and furtive glances from his ‘peers’ - rivals? Allies? Compatriots? He wasn’t really quite sure what to call them.
His father had treated them all like pawns. Then again, the Upstart had never quite inherited the man’s cunning. The man had gambled with life and death, and came out victorious time after time. Where they differed, however, was that the Upstart did not believe in luck, nor entitlement; the only thing he dared wish upon were the fists of his fighters, and how hard they struck
A finger traced across the Hebrew lettering which marked his face. It meant much the same thing.
Indeed, unlike his late father, Katahara Retsudo was no gambler. But even he knew he would need that man’s devilish luck for what was to come.
Another KAT was coming, and he intended to do what his father had failed to do sixty years ago - before Kengan’s collapse, before Dainippon’s fall.
He intended to win it.
Turning his back on the remnants of Kariuki’s fight, Retsudo grinned. He had found his potential fighter’s fist hurdle.
submitted by SexyPeter to Kengan_Ashura [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 00:03 CAN_I_HAVE_A_STRAW [Positive] u/Pizza_Cat_Yt
I was able to make a great trade with this user, easy and quick communication! The card was packaged nicely as well. I would without hesitation, trade with/buy from this user again, and highly recommend them!
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2022.01.28 00:03 Matlabguru Machine Learning vs Deep Learning
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2022.01.28 00:03 CommanderCRM Smiling
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2022.01.28 00:03 yahat Internet doesn't automically connect on U68G
Even though it shows that the internet is connected, every time I start my tv the internet doesn't work. I have to reset it every time I start. Does anyone else have this issue? Will there be an update?
submitted by yahat to Hisense [link] [comments]
2022.01.28 00:03 MarvelsGrantMan136 ‘Black Rock Shooter: Dawn Fall’ New Key Visual
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2022.01.28 00:03 overthinkingbafoon Best goal horn in the league?
2022.01.28 00:03 Anantasesa $200 social good signup and $5 from me until jan 31
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2022.01.28 00:03 Competetiveformula1 Boy edai back on ig idk if he home or nigga just got a jack in jail😂
2022.01.28 00:03 waqner Pokemon Legends Arceus: All Wisp Locations
Make sure to File > Make a Copy
All of these are needed for Spiritomb
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2022.01.28 00:03 introsort [Hiring] Security Engineer - Job ID: 1898683 | Amazon.jobs (Amazon)
2022.01.28 00:03 Funfzylindren Probleme cu vecinii. Ce pot să fac?
Salut, locuiesc în chirie, în București, într-o garsonieră. Problema e următoarea: s-au mutat recent niște idioți lângă mine și ori fac gălagie, ori pun manele la refuz de la 12:00am-5:00am, ori pur și simplu vorbesc tare, pun muzică(la un nivel acceptabil) si trântesc porcării prin casă.
Îmi e frică să merg să le spun ceva, judecând după conversațiile pe care le au/ modul în care se amenință cu moartea unul pe altul.
Ce naiba fac, îmi schimb chiria doar din cauza lor? Stau de aproximativ un an aici și totul a fost ok până acum. Dacă aș vorbi cu proprietarul garsonierei nu văd ce ar putea să facă el. Suspectez că ar fi niște vecini care se "vizitează". Au 30+ ăia deci slabe șanse să mă înțeleg eu cu ei. Și fix când îmi începe sesiunea.....
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2022.01.28 00:03 thatswhatyougot Sen. Smith to push ahead on passage of clean energy tax credits
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2022.01.28 00:03 KeenShotty This is a small pastebin project I made. Doesn't make weapons, but assigns parameters for creating them.